This has been a rough week. We all have them , I know. And I am grateful for the little trials that I am given to test me as a mother and a wife, because I know that I will be a better person tomorrow for what learned today.
I love my boys. All three of them. Dearly. But each one has had his part in a tough week for me.
Gabriel: He has chosen this week to begin being a perfectionist. I love art and I always have. Up until now Gabe has never had the patience for it. Heaven forbid the coloring page is larger than his fist and may take him more that 6 seconds to color.
But this week is different. He wants to learn to draw. I have taught him different kinds of tractors, which he did well with. Then we moved on to animals.
As I sat next to him, watching him try to copy the cat I had drawn (in simple shapes), I could see the frustration over his imperfect lines beginning. Then he buried his head in his arms and said "Mine looks like a monkey!" ... actually, it really did look like a monkey :) But how do you explain that for his first time drawing a cat, for it to look that close to a cat and not look like, oh I dunno, a car or something, was great!
I couldn't make him understand that. Then is was one thing after another. He couldn't read words, he couldn't conquer the castle in Mario Bros., tying his shoes... and the list goes on.
I just pray to our Heavenly Father each night, that when he is feeling inadequate or discouraged or like he is not good enough, that the Spirit will put the words in my mouth so that I can tell him what he needs to hear to know how wonderful, talented, smart, funny and beautiful he is. And when he needs to learn patience and that practice makes progress.
Landon: My baby has been stubborn and attached to me from day one. He refuses to have anything to self sooth with. Except... well... for my boobies. He has just turned 6 months and has recently decided he doesn't need to eat every hour through the night. But he still doesn't have a way to sooth himself back to sleep.
So, what I have is a baby that wakes up frequently, does not want to nurse, will not take a binki, or a bottle, has no favorite blanket or toy... nothing. Has anyone ever had to sooth and comfort a tired baby who doesn't know what he wants?
On top of this predicament. He is sick. Has been for 3 days now. Nothing serious, no antibiotics or anything, just a common cold kind of a thing. But it is enough for my guilt for letting him come in contact with whatever infected his little body to override my lack of sleep frustration.
I realize that this post is one long complaint, but if any of you made it through my ramblings, any helpful hints? For anything?
Oh yeah, I must say this post on Facebook is what sparked my feelings of inadequacy tonight. It is only two paragraphs long, but I dare you to read it with out crying.